Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Wednesday's Thoughts

I used this tutorial by 21 Rosemary Lane to create a new header today! 

Also I have a confession to make, legally I'm not really a Tortolini. 

Matt and I got married 2 1/2 years ago but I never legally changed my name. More than anything it's apathy. I mean neither of us really cared if I legally changed my name and then there were a bunch of other complications too. 

Like we moved right after. I started a new job, got a new driver's license, etc all in about a 2 month period after getting married. The thought of going to social security and doing that AGAIN made me want to cry. Now that it's been a while I don't know what to do. Socially I use Tortolini as my last name. Everybody thinks I'm a Tortolini. Except for all of the official things, like taxes, bank account and my job. 

I don't know if it's even worth it at this point. I guess we'll see. Maybe one day I'll get a bee in my bonnet and decide to go through the motions and change my name. I've never really had a real affinity for my last name. My parents are divorced and my Mom raised us. So basically I could take it or leave it, but I still haven't changed my name. 

I don't even know what that means if it even means anything, haha. I think it mainly means that I am lazy and that Matt doesn't care what my legal name is. 

Speaking of marriage Lauren wrote a very interesting post you can find here. The original article she writes about is called 'Marriage Isn't for You' and can be found here. You should go read her thoughts because I think they're interesting and I agree with her. 

 I wrote a little bit about what I've learned about marriage here. Haha, oh I was so cute. Definitely still living on that newlywed high ;) 

I obviously love Matt, but man marriage isn't a walk in the park. It's just like any other relationship only that person sees you at your best AND at your Worst. Some days they see more worse than best. And yet they stay. 

That to me is marriage. Loving the other person and the life you've built with them that you stay with them even when things are worse. 

When one of you is cranky. When one of you gives more than the other. When one of you needs more than the other. 

 Figuring out how to love someone, live with them. And if we're getting personal even how much sex makes them happy and how much sex makes you happy can be hard. But, it's worth it. 

Also each marriage is so unique that it can't be compared to any other. What I want out of life isn't the same as what other people want, how could my marriage look anything like theirs? 

Ok, go enjoy Lauren's post now! Her thoughts were much more coherent than mine are today! Or probably are most days, haha. 


Anonymous said...

I changed my last name shortly after I married my husband, but I totally understand why you didn't. That is a huge pain to have to go through all the same processes again after you just got a new license, etc. My cousin never changed her last name... she's a teacher too, so I guess it works better for her?

I totally agree with what you said about how marriage is different for every couple, what works in some relationships doesn't always work with others and it's never good to compare :) Better to do what works best for you and your husband!

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

It took me a while to change my name. I actually made my maiden name my middle name and I use all three.

I loved Lauren's blog post. The original article really pissed me off. I thought it was patronizing and smug and totally false.

Laura Darling said...

I'm getting married in March so I love this post -it's great to see advice from others who have been there already! :) I've heard changing last names is very complicated - hope I'm ready for all the paperwork!

Lauren said...

Thanks for referencing me! I don't think the last name matters and if it does, you can go change it then. Marriage isn't always easy but it's mostly worth it. Except when my husband is being an idiot. Then I tell him I am going to trade him in for a newer model!