change

Change

Change is defined as : to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion; to change the course of history. (via)

 If you asked people on the street what change was most would say something along the lines of scary, exciting, difficult, thrilling. To some people change is the best thing that could ever happen and to others it is the scariest. 

Why are so many more of us fearful of change rather than excited by it? The answer to me is because we don't know what might happen. If we do the same things over and over again we can predict fairly well what will happen. If we make a change to that routine we can no longer easily predict. And that to many of us is frightening. 

It forces us to stay in relationships, jobs, homes, classes much longer than we should. How does the saying go, better the devil you know than the one you don't?

~ “A year from now you will wish you had started today.” -Karen Lamb ~

A year ago almost to the day I turned my resignation letter in to a job I had had for the past 5 years. A job that left me stressed and unfulfilled.  A position that constantly left me wanting for more and feeling like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. Some of the people I worked with were difficult. We didn't have the best relationships but we worked together every day so we had these weird fake friendships. Being able to let go of them when I moved was liking letting out a breath I had been holding in for years. I am a happier and better person now that I'm not working there.

Making the leap and quitting and moving to South Carolina was one of the best decisions of my life so far. I've made plenty of bad ones, but this one has been a good one. That doesn't mean it's been easy. Nothing good ever is easy.

The hardest part of the change has been distance from my family. However, our relationships are just as strong now or maybe stronger than they were a year ago. We have embraced the distance and found other ways to keep in touch and be a part of each others lives. 

The second hardest part has been the ways that friendships have changed. Let's face it, we're all busy. It's just easier to be friends with someone you get to see often and who lives in the same area code as you. Even when you're both putting in the effort to remain friends, it will never be the same as when you worked at the same place, ate lunch together every day, just knew what they did on a daily basis. It's hard to let go of the sting you feel when you realize that you've both had to move on and find new people to fill that void. It doesn't mean you don't remain friends. It's just your friendship changing and evolving. But it also doesn't mean it doesn't hurt some days. 

~ “In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.” -Warren Buffett ~

 

Another change I have dealt with occurred when Matt and I first starting dating.  I had a friend who I was very close to. Things happened that caused the change from me being single to me being with Matt not the easiest thing. Things were said and done on both parts that fractured the friendship. I feel like I'm finally completely over the friendship and could see her and be pleasant. There are some people that were mutual friends that that can't be said about. When friendships end, just like in a break up, friends are divided. It sucks but it happens. Some of those people actually made the change worse and harder. If I had been a bigger person and didn't let my insecurities get the best of me I sometimes wonder if I wouldn't have let them get between us as much as I did. The point to this story is she recently got engaged and it was hard to know that I wasn't someone she was excited to tell. I had the same feelings last year during my engagement/wedding. That kind of change sucks. In the end it lead us both down paths that made us happier than we ever were when we were friends. I don't think if we had remained friends either of us would be where we are. It's like God said these two are not bringing out the best in one another and led us separate ways. 

If you've read this whole thing, kudos to you! I know it's been kind of random and odd. But, it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. 

“When in doubt, choose change.” -Lily Leung